Just call Lauren MacGyver!

So I think I just need to change the name of our blog to "Well I know its been a while but..."  That way I wont have to say that every time I finally make a new post.  But we are starting our next adventure with Patrick so I guess it is time to post something new.  As most know, Patrick has a very complex heart defect that will require surgery in the summer or fall.  Yesterday we started the evaluation process for his surgery.  We went to Children's Hospital of Atlanta for a heart catheterization and echocardiogram.  Because of the length of time the procedure takes and because apparently 3 year olds don't lie still when you ask them to, general anesthesia was required.  Patrick did great with the doctors and nurses, and we were so impressed with the care that he was given.  , After the procedure we were able to talk with multiple cardiologists who talked with us about the surgeries that Patrick will need.  All along we expected them to tell us that he will have a procedure known as Fontan, which doesn't so much fix the defects he has but routes blood around the heart to give him better oxygen levels and a better quality of life. The good side of the Fontan is that most children who have it do very well after the immediate post operative period and can experience a relatively normal childhood and young adulthood.  The downside is that the life expectancy of those who have the procedure is in the 30's maybe into the 40s.  However, the docs yesterday think that Patrick may be able to have a procedure to provide him with a more physiologic heart anatomy that may not be as limiting as far as activity and life span.  Everything has a down side and this is no different.  Technically this is a much more difficult surgery with more risk during and immediately after the surgery so more hospital time is expected.  Also he would likely need it repeated as he grows.  We won't know anything until next week and even then we will probably need more testing to know for sure.  We are very excited to know that a "better" surgery may be an option, but making these life altering decisions weighs heavy on the heart of moms, dads, brothers, sisters, and grandparents. 

So what is this about Lauren and MacGyver? Well Patrick is officially an Ayres and as many of you know we rarely make things easy.  Yesterday didn't disappoint.  Because of Patrick's anatomy his catheterization had to be performed through his groin as well as his neck.  Unfortunately his neck didn't want to quit bleeding.  I think every nurse and fellow held pressure on his neck to control the bleeding.  Patrick was still through the whole process and was really a trooper.  Finally they decided to use a different type of gauze that was made of Adobe or at least something similar and it stopped the bleeding. We waited another few hours and were told we were heading home.  We started home and of course the neck started bleeding again.  Okay we made it down to the lobby but that's a start right?  Any normal person would have gone back upstairs and let the staff care for the neck, but I've never been called normal.  I knew if we went back upstairs we were spending the night in the hospital.  I guess that was my only thought.  Maybe I should have thought we don't have the supplies to care for a bleeding neck, Atlanta is two hours from Gadsden, it's rush hour, what is the weather doing, this is your son's neck.  Yeah none of those thoughts went through my brain when they should have.  We put Patrick in his car seat, Lauren climbed in the back seat with him (kindof) and we headed home.  Lauren sat on a cooler next to Patrick so that she could be close enough to his neck to hold pressure, we exhausted our supply of gauze roughly 1 minute after we pulled out of the parking deck.  That's where MacGyver stepped her game up.  I looked up and Patrick's head was secured on both sides with folded up blankets and Lauren was holding pressure on his neck with another blanket.  All the while I think she was providing a running commentary with her mother via text, drinking a diet coke, checking Facebook, and ordering matching bathing suits for the boys.  Okay maybe that is a little bit exaggerated but not a tear was shed and no one was screaming or fussing. This was all carried out in an orderly, calm fashion and that is truly not an exaggeration.  So I drove long enough to get out of Atlanta traffic and eventually found a Walgreens.  I ran in to get supplies while Lauren continued holding pressure and entertaining a 3 year old who was pretty much tired of everyone pushing on his neck.  Eventually I removed the dressing totally and placed another piece of Adobe on the oozing hole in my son's neck as Lauren drove us home.  30 minutes later Patrick had a brand new, almost blood free dressing on his neck with tape and everything.  Did I mention that about 1.7 minutes into the trip a driving rain storm started up and basically was with us until about Saks?  At least it wasn't hail like our last trip home from Atlanta.  Be thankful for the small things right?  This morning after a little sleep and some much needed coffee, I can laugh a little bit. If I had any doubt before,  I have no doubt that Lauren is fully ready to nurse a 3 year old back to health following a huge heart surgery.  Maybe next time we have a "little" complication I will at least have a first aid kit in the car!!!

We are thankful to everyone who prayed for us yesterday and many days before.  I ask that you continue to pray for Patrick, his doctors, and us as we make decisions regarding his upcoming surgery.   We have confidence that he is in God's hand regardless of the decisions and regardless of the outcome.  It's nice to be able to rest in that fact.

Welcome home Patrick Shepherd Ayres

Well we made it safely home from China and our first day together with 8 kids is in the books.  We had a great trip but I am so thankful to be home.  I’m fairly certain Lauren’s mom Dottie is thankful for us to be home too.  She pretty much moved into our house while we were gone and took care of everything.  I’m pretty sure I don’t say it enough, but I hit the in-law jackpot when I married Lauren!!!  Roger and Dottie have always stepped in to help throughout our many adventures. It’s a true blessing to have a loving extended family.  Many of you already saw Lauren’s top 10 lists of things we are thankful for now that we are back on US soil. It’s a funny list but true.  We stopped at a fast food restaurant on the way home from Atlanta, and I was just thrilled not to have to order with a picture menu!!!  It was strange coming back to Atlanta rather than Birmingham.  We missed being greeted in the airport by all of our kids and so many of our friends, but when you book trip to China one day before you leave, you pretty much take what you can get.  Rebecca did make the trip with my parents and we were so thankful to see Leanne Jenkins and her son Jessie with her when we arrived.  Driving to Atlanta on a cold Saturday morning shows that Leanne is either really crazy or truly loves us.  We think it’s the latter. Either way it was a great surprise.  When we arrived home the rest of our family had decorated the house with signs and balloons.  They all met us in the driveway for hugs and kisses.  Patrick was so excited that he slept right through the commotion. No matter how hard anyone tried, he simply wasn’t waking up.   

The rest of the day was kindof a jet lagged stupor, but it was great to see all of the kids interacting and playing together.  3 three year old boys and 1 five year old, along with four doting sisters can create quite the commotion.  It was interesting to see Patrick, not sure of where he was, playing and enjoying himself.  I pray that he soon understands that this is home and these people are his family. I look forward to enjoying today before heading back to work tomorrow.  The next few weeks should be exciting.  Figuring out how to mix in another child at the dinner table, bath tub, and car are only a few things to think about. We do have one child who turns 16 tomorrow, Elisabeth.  She’s not quite ready for driving alone yet but when she is, I know it will be a HUGE help.  Maggie turns 15 tomorrow too, so watch out Gadsden, RBC, and Southside. Another Ayres driver will be taking to the road soon.

Aside from the changes in our daily routine, we also will begin investigating Patrick’s medical needs this week.  We have our first cardiology appointment Wednesday.  After this we should have some idea of how soon his next surgery will be.  We pray that it can wait until he has bonded to us a little more, but we will do what is best for him.  The great thing is knowing that God already has it mapped out to perfection, and fortunately we are allowed to follow His perfect plan.

We know that many have been praying for us, and again, we are so grateful for those prayers.  We also appreciate the meals, gifts, and goodies that were already waiting for us when we arrived home.  Please keep the prayers coming as the next few days, months, and years will be filled with plenty of excitement I’m sure.  Lauren and I have always talked about having a big family, but I’m not sure either of us ever imagined it would be this big.  God has definitely shown us His graciousness in a big way during all of our adoption processes.  I’m pretty sure that this is our last, but I never say never.  I am sure, however, that God will continue to write the story of the Ayres family, and for that I could not be more grateful.  Who knows?  I may even continue to write this goofy blog so that in 20-30 years we can look back at it with our kids and grandkids as we sit around the Thanksgiving table….at Convention Hall!!!   

 

 

 

Time to come home

So our time in China is drawing to a close.  This trip is full of wonderful memories just like every other adoption trip.  Patrick Yun Qi (pronounced Chi) or as we have named him “Yun Cheetoh” has really started loving us despite our different food and language.  He passes out kisses regularly puckering up any chance he gets.  Janie has learned to barter like her mother.  With a face like hers who wouldn’t give her the price she wants!!  Lauren and I discuss how confident she is in this country.  It’s amazing how international travel brings out her bravery.  And Maggie got her hair cut here at a local salon.  It looked great when she got back.  I guess China brings out her confidence as well.  It’s funny how we don’t let the language or cultural differences stop us from enjoying ourselves shopping, eating, or playing at a park.  I almost jumped into a game of badminton today.  Too bad I didn’t bring my knee brace!! I thought at least I would have a fighting chance unlike ping pong!!! Talk about serious table tennis!!

Despite all of the fun we had the real reason we came to China was to welcome a precious child into our family.  Patrick Shepherd Ayres officially became our child on December 26, 2014 and will become a US citizen on January 10, 2015 the moment the wheels of our plane touch down in Atlanta.  Lauren and I could not have received a better Christmas present.  I can’t wait until he is old enough to understand how our entire family worked together to bring him home, and how God orchestrated every moment.  We are anxious about his future, but we know God has that orchestrated already too.  God has prepared every doctor, nurse, scrub tech, pharmacist, support worker, and janitor so that Patrick will be taken care of exactly as He has planned.  I don’t know even what city we will be in, but God does.  Isn’t that completely and totally overwhelming?  3 years ago God knew that a child would be born with huge medical needs, that this child’s family would abandon him 7 months into life, that he would be cared for by an amazing group of doctors in China, and that he would eventually be called “son” by two people living half way around the world.  The same two people who 2 ½ years ago said we aren’t even talking about adopting a heart baby.  Yep.  You guessed it.  God had a different plan.  I’m thrilled and overwhelmed to be part of it. 

So how are you going to let God change your plan?  I often hear people say, “Adoption isn’t for everyone.” My question, “Why not?”   If finances are in question we can show you plenty of grants that are available to assist with adoption expenses.  Maybe God is calling you to reallocate money that you already have, but are using in a different way.  Maybe He is calling you to change your lifestyle.  Maybe He is calling you to step out in faith so that He can prove to you that He won’t call you to do something without providing the means.  I can’t tell you how many fellow adoptive families have told me that they didn’t know where money for the next fee was going to come from, but it always came. If “God’s guidance or calling” is in question spend a little time in his word.  Look at James 1:27.  What better way to look after an orphan than to offer them your heart and your home?  Look at Psalm 82 and Isaiah 1.  How better to defend the fatherless than to offer them a home and a future.  Read John 14:18.  Jesus tells us that He will not leave us as orphans.  Isn’t our goal to be more like Jesus?  Jesus adopted us into His holy family.  What better way to be like Jesus, than to adopt one who He considers precious and worthy into your family.  I’ve said this before and I’ll probably say it again, but I have never felt so close to God as when I am walking with Him through adoption. It has changed my outlook on pretty much everything.  It has drawn me into a real relationship with Him.  So not only did a child get ‘”rescued” from life as an orphan, but I also got rescued from a life of lukewarm religion.  There are millions of orphans worldwide who need a loving home.  There are also millions of people who long for a closer relationship with the Father.  Maybe adoption is the tie that binds these together for you.  Maybe…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last stop, Guangzhou

So we are finally at our last stop of Patrick’s adoption trip.  We are in Guangzhou, in Southern China, where we will go before the US consulate to officially apply for Patrick’s US entry Visa.  Hopefully we have done our last load of laundry in the bath tub.  We have unpacked for the last time, and since Korean Air allows two bags per passenger (no we won’t have that many) the repacking won’t be a stressful!  Next Saturday at 9 am Eastern time we will land in Atlanta and Patrick will be a US citizen.  The only thing standing in our way is about 24 hours of travel with a 3 year old who loves us but still barely know us.  We’ve done it before, and we will do it again!!! (Probably not but I just wanted to make sure everyone was paying attention)

We spent the last 3 days in Beijing where we did a little shopping, went to the crazy food market, and got to visit New Hope, the place where Patrick lived for a while and the place where we met and fell in love with him.  I don’t think pictures of the food market really do it justice, and except for the snakes, scorpions, grasshoppers, sheep testicles, starfish, squid, pig intestines, whole pigeon, seahorses, spiders, and hearts, most of the food was pretty normal.  We branched out and tried a few things.  Lauren some pineapple rice and me a fried banana as well as some sugared fruit Maggie, Janie, Patrick, and I gladly shared.  Did anyone think we would actually eat a spider?  We consider ourselves pretty adventurous but the line has to be drawn somewhere.  We enjoyed some great, rather normal Chinese food, and spent some time with some wonderful fellow adoptive families.  It’s amazing how quickly bonds are formed when you are halfway around the world with people who have the same heart for these precious babies as we do.  Speaking the same language helps too.

Our last morning in Beijing was spent at New Hope.  Apparently all of the nannies had been warned we were coming, and as we walked toward Patrick’s room we had quite the welcoming committee.  They were all so excited to see him come back.  He was quite anxious at first but eventually settled in and let a few of the nannies hold him.  He started playing with the toys in his room and in the preschool room just like he had never left.  We are glad that he was not scared of his previous home or his caregivers.  It shows us that he was loved, but as we prepared to leave there was no doubt he was not ready for a long term visit!! Janie also got to visit with her ayi.  This sweet nanny fixed Janie's hair every day we stayed in New Hope two summers ago. Janie has been talking about seeing her for weeks.  As soon as we walked in she picked Janie up and gave her a big hug.   We were sad that Robin and Joyce Hill weren’t in town to visit with us, but we were thankful that we were able to share a cup of coffee with Rebecca and Mikey Shook before heading back to town.  We always look forward to visits with friends when we come to China.

Who knows if this will be our last blog entry before heading home, but if so Lauren and I want everyone to know how thankful we are for those who have prayed for us and our new son throughout the whole process.  Please keep those prayers coming as it’s not going to be a cakewalk when we get home.  I have to get back to work, school and ballet resume following the Christmas break, and we have 7 kids and some grandparents who are anxiously awaiting our return.  No rest for the weary I guess.  As I often say, there is never a dull moment in our world.  Honestly we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 

 

 

Zhengzhou CWI

Today we visited the Zhengzhou Children’s Welfare Institute or CWI or orphanage (for the less politically correct).  This is where Patrick spent the past year of his life as well as the place John spent over a year of his life. We had not visited here on our previous trips to Zhengzhou.  As we drove up I was honestly shocked at the size of the facility.  From the outside it was a beautiful location with a soccer field surrounded by a track, multiple playground areas, and a large garden.  It was painted in bright colors and cleaner than I anticipated.  On the surface the inside was bright and cheery as well.  The kids were smiling.  Preschool was in full swing.  We were greeted by smiling workers who were all thrilled to see Patrick again.  He was in his carrier strapped to me so he felt pretty safe.  Lauren and I could tell he was nervous, but he did well throughout his visit.  Our first stop was the New Hope/Show Hope Special Care Center. This is home to about 80 of the babies under the care of Show Hope.  We visited Patrick’s room. His nannies were thrilled to see him.  We were greeted by the head nanny who got so excited not only to see Patrick, but also to see pictures of John.  She was ecstatic to see he was doing so well.  We also got to see Ednalyn, Patrick’s nurse, who has cared for him for quite a while now.   Before we left the Show Hope floor Ednalyn walked into a supply room.  Patrick immediately started smiling.  She returned with a handful of snacks for him.  Apparently these two have shared a few snacks throughout their time together. If anyone sponsors children through Show Hope, I can personally say that they are loved and well cared for in this facility

Later we visited Patrick’s preschool room.  His teacher was just as happy to see him as everyone else.  She insisted that I take him out of his carrier for pictures.  I was reluctant but went ahead.  Again he did great, but happily got back on my chest!!! We were told that he loved going to preschool, and I believe it.

It was great to see where two of my boys spent a great deal of their lives.  It was also great to know that neither of them are there any longer.  As we prepared to leave today we were met by a large group of kids going from one activity to another.  Most of these kids were older.  There were walkers, wheelchairs, and kids walking normally.  There was laughter, bickering, and lots of showing off for the camera.  One guy made sure he got a fist bump from each of us.  If we didn’t know better, we could have been in a normal school environment.  Sadly we do know better.  We were in an orphanage.  We were in the largest orphanage in Henan province.  Over 600 children call this place home.  That doesn’t include those who are in foster care in this city.  When the “school day” ends these kids don’t go home to happy families.  During holiday breaks this is still home.  These kids rarely see the outside of the orphanage gates.  A location similar to this is where Elisabeth spent the first 13 years of her life.  Some of these children will be adopted either domestically or internationally, but statistically speaking most of these children have no future.  They are considered “unlucky” by their country so jobs will be hard to come by once their days are over in the orphanage.  Life on the streets or in jail will be the most common outcome.  Open Christianity is illegal so there isn’t a church to step in for help.  It’s heartbreaking.  We can all talk about the statistics, but when you stand in a room surrounded by real live children, it’s almost unbearable.    I wish I could transport anyone who asks me why we chose to adopt to that room.  No further explanation would be needed.  I wouldn’t have to explain why our hearts long to bring even more home.  I’m thankful that God chose my family to remove at least 4 children from that room.  I pray that someone, somewhere is answering God’s call to remove even more.

Panoramic view from inside the orphanage

 

 

Ednalyn

Patrick's bed

Us with the head nanny and Ednalyn

Patick's preschool room

Door artwork

In Mama's arms

 

The fist bumper

Selfie with a new friend