Monday, December 31, 2012

What a Difference a Year Makes...

Last year at this time we were just getting home from New York where our girls danced the Nutcracker, my Auburn Tigers were playing in a bowl game, and 2012 looked like just another year. The closest thing to China that we were talking about was Chinatown. Oh what a difference a year makes.  Lauren always says that we have never had a calm, easy year of marriage. That statement definitely held true for 2012. In February of 2012 we felt God calling us to adopt.  Lauren has talked about adoption for years, but it never seemed like the right time. This February was different.  This year God used his Word and his call to care for orphans to change our family forever.  Although it has only been 10 months, through the roller coaster ride called international adoption, our family of 6 became a family of 8. I could not be more content. As I sit in a hotel room in Guangzhou it is hard not to be in awe of God's goodness and his glory. It is also impossible not to be thankful because God used a sinner like me to bring two orphans into a family where they will hear His word and hopefully one day accept His Son. Our God is so good!!  I pray that as we now begin the next step of adoption, getting back to life in America, that we will continue to rely on God to lead the process forward in his way and his timing. I have said many times that every time I try to do things my way, I just mess it up. I pray that I will give God complete control of my life and my family now and forever. He already has it. Unfortunately I keep trying to take it back.

Thank you to all who have prayed for us and supported us throughout this journey. I ask that you continue to pray for us because the journey is far from over. We have a teenage daughter who can't speak our language, and who isn't sure if she really likes us or not. We have a toddler son who has a history of kidney issues that may need treatment when we get home. We have 4 more kids at home who are ready to see the 4 of us. We really can't wait to see them. In 2013 we have to rely on God to bring us home safely and make our family whole again. I know my God can do just that. I can't wait for another exciting year!

How can my family pray for your family this year?

Saturday, December 29, 2012

My Daughter Eats Chicken Feet

Today was our first full day in Guangzhou. We arrived here late last night and finally got to bed after getting unpacked and organized. This morning we had to go to the international adoption clinic for our children to have physicals. Ming Yu also had to have a TB skin test and 3 immunizations. Her arms are sore, and I don't think she was ready for all of the needles, but overall both kids did really well. No unforeseen problems were uncovered in either child. We did make her feel a little better by buying her ice cream after her shots. I guess you are never too old for a treat after a visit to the doctor.

The rest of the afternoon was spent exploring the hotel, buying a few groceries, and trying to get a little rest.  There is another couple in our hotel who has adopted two girls, 11 and 8.  Our families had dinner together and had a great time.  The three girls talked to each other in Chinese while the grown ups spoke English. Davidson slept on his Mommy most of the meal. When the two other girls looked at the menu they immediately ordered chicken feet.  As we were eating family style I knew that Ming Yu would have the opportunity to share the chicken feet if she wanted. I'll be honest, I was hoping that she would skip the feet for some fried rice or dumplings. She did not. She ate several chicken feet and seemed to enjoy them. We have told her that when we get home we will find places to eat food similar to here in China. I'm not sure I'll be able to fulfill that promise when it comes to chicken feet. In Alabama chicken fingers are readily available. I'm not sure chicken feet are on any menu in Gadsden. I think Lauren and I have been pretty adventurous with food on our two trips to China, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I draw that line at chicken feet.  However, because we want our daughter to feel comfortable in the US, if anyone has a recipe for chicken feet please forward it to me.  Better yet, make them at your house and I'll send Ming Yu over for dinner.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Best Day Yet!!!

Today was our last full day in Zhengzhou. Tomorrow evening we fly to Guangzhou to finalize our adoption and receive US Visas for our children from the US Consulate. We have enjoyed our time in Zhengzhou as we have gotten to know our children more and more. Today we planned to return to Maria's Big House of Hope to visit with the Martin family, the nurses, and many of the children who were there when we visited before. We were met, however, early this morning with a phone call telling us that because of the snowy weather the roads were closed so the van couldn't take us to Luoyang. Not to be deterred we bought tickets for the bullet train and rode to Luoyang where Steve Martin picked us up and took us to Maria's. Our guide, Vivian, was so nervous that she gave me her extra cell phone in case we had any trouble. When she met us back in Zhengzhou she said that her mom was upset with her for letting us go alone!!!  We felt bad that she was so nervous for us.  She has done a fantastic job for our entire time here in Zhengzhou. Oh yeah, the bullet train.  The fastest speed that I saw posted was 309 km/hr. That's 191 miles per hour for those of you nonmetric people.

At MBHOH we had a wonderful time. We were able to spend time with the Martin family and catch up on everyting that has happened with us and them in the last three months.  The Martin kids were so excited when we arrived, and we were just as excited to see them.  We walked around and checked on many of the sick babies. It's amazing what God is doing in that place. Many of the children who were so sick before are up and running around now. Many of the  kids were gone but we were able to get updates from Steve and the nurses.  We went back to Davidson's room and the nannies there were so excited to see him. He went to them easily, but within minutes he was ready to return to his mama's arms. Believe me she was relieved.  That was the point we knew without a doubt that he was fully bonded with her.  I'm still working on him, but I know he will come around eventually. We are so thankful for the Martins, the nurses, the nannies, and all of the staff at MBHOH who give their lives to care for so many babies, and who cared for our precious He Yi for the first 19 months of his life.

Ming Yu had a great day at MBHOH too. She enjoyed seeing where her brother had lived and seeing the other babies as well. She spent most of her time with Be Be the Chinese language teacher at Maria's. Be Be spends time with the nurses and Martin family every week teaching them Chinese. She's young, newly married, and pregnant, but most importantly she and Ming Yu became instant friends. They talked all day then finally Ming Yu asked Be Be  to translate for her.  She had not, prior to this asked either of our guides to tell us anything. We had a good conversation and came away feeling reassured that Ming Yu is excited about moving to America, but still sad to be leaving her home and her friends. I think seeing us among friends helped her realize that we really will bring her back to China for a visit. She smiled and laughed more than I have seen yet. She interacted with her brother some too.  This father could not have been happier with today. We still got to embarrass our teenage daughter by sitting in the wrong section of the train on the way back to Zhengzhou. We had to move and of course every eye in the train was directed at her. How embarrassing her silly American parents are!!!

As God continues to work through our adoption journey we continue to pray for our children with us and our family back home. We are thankful for those who continue to pray for us and with us. We look forward to sharing more updates from Guangzhou.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

While Christmas Day is still going strong in the US, it is the morning after Christmas here in China. I don't expect many after Christmas sales and we definitely won't spend the day returning gifts that don't work or don't fit. I do look forward to a little exploration as we have a free day here. We completed Davidson's adoption yesterday. Now both kids are legally ours.  We will stay here in Zhengzhou until Friday night so that we can receive Davidson's passport. We will then travel to Guangzhou to complete the US side of the adoption.

Christmas Day was tiring as we had to travel back to Luoyang to apply for Davidson's passport. That was basically 5-6 hours in the car with a small break in the middle at the passport office. In China there are no car seats so Davidson stayed in his Mama's lap the entire trip. Yes in one day he has become Mama's boy.  He will not let her leave his sight.  We are thankful that he is bonding to her so quickly. We have even had several people tell Lauren that he looks like her.  I'll admit, I am a little jealous that he doesn't care for me too much yet but all of this will come in its own time. He was perfect in the car. I'm fairly certain that given the same opportunity my biological children would have ended up tied to the seat to preserve everyone's sanity. He is easy going and likes to play with his toys.  He is a little bit of a ham and like to entertain everyone around with funny facial expressions.  We think his roommates at Maria's Big House of Hope have taught him a few tricks since we left here in September. We couldn't be more thrilled that Davidson is back in our arms. Don't expect him to be put down any time soon.

Ming Yu had her best day yet. She slept in the car most of the trip. When we returned she got a call on Skype from her Ayi at the orphanage in Yantai.  She was animated and smiled and laughed continuously through the conversation. I was afraid that she would be upset when the conversation ended but she was upbeat the rest of the night. I tried all day to download some of her favorite Chinese songs to her iPad with no success. While we were in the car a song came on the radio that I knew and I heard her singing. I asked if she wanted it on her iPad and she said yes. When we returned she got her first song for her iPad, Gangnam style.  Ironic that a Korean song loved all over the world helps bring together an American father and Chinese child.  She will listen to songs from my iPad and seems to keep returning to My Savior My God by Aaron Shust. I know that she doesn't understand the words or the meaning, but I pray that soon she will.

Despite the fact that our Chrstmas wasn't traditional in any sense of the word, we are thankful to be where we are.  We  miss our  family at home, but we know that they are being taken care of. We are also thankful that we have a Savior who was born to die for us, our family, and anyone who will accept Him. We are thankful that He adopted us into His family so that Lauren and I could adopt these two children into ours. I pray that everyone back in the US has a Merry Christmas, and between the meals and the presents remember to thank God for the blessings he has given us all, most importantly his Son.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Gotcha day

Merry Christmas!!!  Santa came early for us because at 10:00 Christmas Eve we got our precious Davidson He Yi. He was brought to us in Zhengzhou by his wonderful Ayi from Maria's Big House of Hope. It was hard for him to leave her and hard for her to let him go but we are thankful that he was loved by her so much.  She hugged us both as she left. We knew that she was happy that he was being adopted. That didn't stop her from sticking her head in the door a few more times to make sure he was okay. We've spent most of the rest of our day in the hotel getting reacquainted with our son and letting Ming Yu get to know him as well. We've made some baby steps with Ming Yu today. I went to Walmart with the other two fathers in our group while Lauren and Ming Yu stayed back. Ming Yu got in the floor and interacted with Lauren and Davidson. That is huge. She is still a little resistant to our hugs but we do see that slowly she is becoming more receptive. The problem with this trip is that things are constantly changing.  Stability would be helpful right now.

As the day went on Davidson became more and more attached to his mama which is everything she needed. He slept on her, ate from her, played games with her, and showed off all of his "tricks." He is the cutest thing making faces and imitating what others do around him. I was able to feed him his bottle which I never got to do with my others. It has only been a day and things could change but it appears that he is going to bond with us quickly.

We had dinner with the two other families here with CCAI.  6 adults, 1 teenager, and 4 babies. No tears were cried by the babies and the food was great. It may not have been Christmas Eve with our Whole family but it was great to sit with our adopted children and others who have been through the same process with us. We will all travel to Guangzhou together at the end of the week to complete our adoption.

Overall we had a great Christmas Eve in China. As I type Lauren and Ming Yu are using the translator and giggling. We have a busy day of paperwork tomorrow. We will travel to Luoyang by car to complete Davidsons registration. Christmas will certainly be different this year, but we definitely have the best two gifts a family could ever want!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Another gotcha day is coming.

Today we made it to Zhengzhou. Ming Yu had her first plane ride and I think she enjoyed it. I added a few pics. The view from the plane was pretty cool. We are so thankful to have had Missy our guide in Jinan. She took care of us and Ming Yu so well. We are pretty spoiled now because we were her only family. We have to share our guide here. The other families here are really sweet. Out of three families we will be adopting a total of 5 kids.

The countdown is on now for Davidson's Gotcha Day. We will leave our hotel at 9:30 am to get him. That is 7:30 pm Sunday Alabama time.  We can't wait to see him again. I'm not sure we will sleep well again tonight but we are growing used to that. Only a few more hours of family of seven. We will be a family of 8 tomorrow.



Saturday, December 22, 2012

Raising a teenager...from China

We have had Ming Yu for two full days now, and apparently teenagers in China are a lot like teenagers in the US.  They want to talk to talk to their friends rather than spend time with their parents.  They think texting or instant messaging is the only form of communication.  When they do talk they have a one word vocabulary, "no!".  They like to sleep late.  Ming Yu is a typical teenager except for the fact that she has never had a family...until now.  She has had a precious nanny from her orphanage who loved her deeply and who cried when they said goodbye, but she's never known the love that only a mother and father can provide.  She has had friends from her orphanage but she's never known what kind of friend a sibling can be.  Through our unpredictable translators, charades, and acting mostly just silly she is slowly learning these things.  She is not sure how much to trust us yet.  She's really not sure how much she even likes us, but we do get smiles when we hug her and tell her that we love her and that we are proud that she is our daughter. As we go through the normal business of a day we wonder how much of her personality is guarded by years in an institution.  We see glimpses of joy through the wall.  We are determined to see more and more joy. 

Oh well, enough philosophy.  What else have we done.  We have eaten so much delicious Chinese food.  Ming Yu likes things spicy. So spicy her dad can't even keep up.  We were told that she liked American food like McDonald's, KFC, Pizza Hut...not so true.  We also spent the afternoon shopping yesterday.  It took a while but Ming Yu finally let me buy her something. We were told that her favorite color was pink....wrong again.  She hates pink. She only wants to wear black or white, so the clothes we brought are not her favorite. Some she has completely refused to wear. Sound familiar parents of teenagers. She found a few items that we bought so hopefully she won't have to wear the same clothes everyday for the next two weeks.  She found a watch that made her very excited and some earrings as well although we had to convince her to wear them once we got back to the room.  I guess when you've never gotten to make choices about clothes or accessories it can be overwhelming.  She wanted some white boots, but we couldn't find any that she liked at the mall.  When I went out to pick up supper I found some that I felt fit the description.  I bought them and got a huge smile when she opened them.  She and I have spent time playing games onthe iPad. We have tried to teach her simple English words through UNO and BubblePop.  

Lauren and I decided that she was truly meant to be our child.  We have each picked out characteristics that she got from each of us.  Her height is most certainly from me.  Her dark hair and dark eyes from her Mom!!!  Her desire to sleep also from her Mom, but the way she grinds her teeth at  night is most certainly from her Aunt Leigh.  If anyone ever saw me play a sport you know how I always had my tongue sticking out during intense moments.  Ming Yu does this also when playing games on the computer.  On her it's definitely much cuter.  I guess God doesn't have to use genetics to give parents and their children similar traits. We are not sure where it came from but she has a beautiful voice when she lets us hear it. 

Today is our last day in Jinan. We fly out to Zhengzhou this afternoon.  We get Davidson tomorrow.  We can't wait to see him again and hold him in our arms.  4 months is a long time to go without seeing your child.  Trust me, we are counting down the hours.  

Although we have been told Internet is not very dependable in Zhengzhou we hope to be able to keep updates and pictures coming.  I pray that everyone reading this is having a wonderful Christmas season.  We certainly are while having the biggest adventure of our lives!!!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Gotcha Day

Well gotcha day is in the books. I would be lying if I said it was perfect. I would also be lying if I said I expected perfection. Elisabeth Ming Yu arrived around 430 pm. Lauren and I have been parents of a teenager for 13 hours now. During those 13 hrs we have seen a lot of emotions. We've had tears, smiles, fear, laughter...  I think you get the picture. Ming Yu was brought to us by two workers from her orphanage. One was her primary caregiver.  The two of them obviously have a strong bond. It will be hard for Ming Yu knowing that she won't see her again after today. She was very loving to Ming Yu and let her know that being part of a family will be the best thing for her even if she misses her friends from school and her orphanage.  The language barrier is pretty daunting as well. The translators that I planned to use don't work well with the rather poor wifi in our hotel. When we finally did get them to work they were helpful, but it's really hard to show how much love you have for a person on an electronic screen. Lauren and I relied on a lot of hand waving, hand holding, and sitting silently together deciding what to try next. Lauren bought her a cake from the  bakery in our hotel.  We were told that cake was her favorite food. After being with us for a while she ate a piece and seemed to enjoy it.  In China instead of Facebook people use a program called QQ.  Things seemed to improve when Ming Yu was able to use it on the room tv/computer. I don't know who she was talking to or what she said but it definitely brought her comfort.   After multiple attempts I finally got QQ installed on the iPad we brought for her and she fell asleep talking to friends. She slept, and is in fact still sleeping great.

Missy, our adoption representative is wonderful. She talks to Ming Yu and encourages her while helping us with the process every step of the way. She will take us to sign more papers today and Ming Yu legally becomes our child.  In our hearts she has been our child for 2 months now.   I asked her if she wanted to go shopping after completing the papers, and I got a smile. A smile was the best answer I could get.

Today will be another adventure of emotions I am sure. I pray that we will be prepared to accept all of the emotions that will come.  As a man and father I want to stop the tears but sometimes tears are necessary. I want to make her love us as much as we love her. That's going to take time. She will learn to love us and her brothers and sisters. God placed her in our lives to make all of our lives better, and I know he will be faithful to do just that.

Lauren is trying to post pics on Facebook currently. Ming Yu doesn't like getting her picture taken but she will learn that in this family that's not an option!!!  We hope to have many more pics today.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Traveling

Well our travels started a little rocky this morning. Our first flight to Atlanta was cancelled but we were fortunate to get on the next flight. We made our connection with a little time to spare. We are now in Seoul, Korea following a 14 hour flight. We will soon board to travel to Beijing and then on to Jinan tomorrow morning. It is now less than one day until we have our daughter. She is spending her final night as an "orphan" as we welcome her into our arms around lunch tomorrow. I can't imagine what is going through her mind tonight.  Lauren and I have been praying continuously that God will prepare her heart for us and her future as our daughter.  I've slept roughly five hours in about 48 now but I don't expect sleep to come easy tonight.  Oh well, sleep will come eventually. I'll just pretend I'm in medical school again!  Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers.  Lauren and I are eternally grateful. We look forward to updates ( with pictures) tomorrow.

On another note, please pray for the family of Rick, Cindy, Chandler, and Caroline Deerman. The Deermans are in the process of adopting a precious baby boy from Russia.  Russia is voting this week to potentially close adoption with the United States.  No one knows how this will affect current and future adoptions. Pray for God's intervention for this wonderful family and for all of the children potentially affected. Ephensians 3:20 tells us that God can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. We have faith that he can in this and every situation.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Be Strong! Be Courageous!

I keep thinking, oh man...a HUGE adventure is ahead of us!!! Four cities, four hotels, away from my home and four children for three weeks, and on and on...YES! This is very overwhelming to me, but somehow I am peaceful and somehow my bags are packed.  This will be the trip of all trips, halfway around the world.  I am SO excited that God has prepared this trip for us to take, HIS journey to go pick up two new orphan children, God's children.  And, I keep being reminded by everyone around, "You mean you are getting two kids?" " A toddler AND a teenager?" Somehow, God has allowed me to find peace in HIM during all the last minute details of the trip and bringing home two new children.

Joshua 1:9 has become my motto over the last two months. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

So, that is where I will find my peace and my comfort.  I know the LORD is with me during my travels around the world; when we go from city to city in China not speaking their language; when we take in a teenager who doesn't know us or our language; when I take in a toddler who loves the Ayi who has always taken care of him and doesn't particularly care for me, his new mama; and the list could go on and on.  I do know that God never intended for our lives to be perfect or easy, but that we should rely solely on him.  Believe me, we will totally have to rely on Him during these last few hours preparing for our trip, while travelling, and especially when we get back home to Alabama. God IS faithful and through HIM I will choose to be courageous!

Thank you, friends for praying for us and just being interested in our lives and our children. Please continue to pray for safety and good health for all of us during our big journey. I am ready to hug these two precious children and guess what? I will in 3.5 days!!!  Seriously, not long now!

If you haven't already, please check out www.showhope.org and see a new picture of our little Davidson.  He is eating a lollipop!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Full of Change

     Wow!  I have been pondering what to type and share on our blog, since we have skipped over the last few months worth of our adoption journey.  I have noticed a trend in the last 9 months of our lives: There has been MAJOR change in many areas of our lives and in the lives of others!
     Of course it is very obvious that our family will grow from six to eight people!  I told Jason that we will never know what it is like to have five children, we will only know four and jump on over to six! Our house situation has all been changed or rearranged, too.  Now, Maggie and Elisabeth will share a room, Rebecca and Janie will share, and then Porter and Davidson will share as well.  We have brought in twin beds to accommodate more children. Also, closets have changed!  Moving in clothes for two extra children has required purging many items that are not needed anymore! Also, our car situation will need to change to carry around six children!! 
     Our adopted children's lives will change forever!  They have never had parents or siblings, now they will have to adjust to living in a home with us.  The changes in their culture will be really extreme.  Imagine all the new sounds, smells, and tastes!  And yes, Elisabeth has always spoken Mandarin and will be learning a new language.  Elisabeth will have so much change in her life and will be pulled from the only world she knows.  Please pray for all these changes in her new life.
    With all these changes in the past few months, my heart has felt a huge change as well.  It is unbelievable how God can change our hearts and open our eyes to see the same things in a new way. My heart has already changed so much and we do not even have the children back home yet. He opened our hearts to two children whom we love so dearly and whispered to me that He will provide all we need if we trust in Him alone. His word states over and over that Jesus loves his children, loves the needy, loves the broken and that it is our duty as Christians to step up and do our part.  My favorite scripture throughout this journey thus far has been Matthew 18:5, "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." How powerful those few words are to me! I want to welcome Jesus, don't you? So, yes! Jason and I and our six children are forever changed through this adoption, but mostly we are changed through our Lord and Saviour who loves us and is leading us through this journey that was planned long, long ago! I believe that THIS change is a good one!
    Please join us in praying for all of these changes.  I know that the changes will not be easy, but I do know we were called to this and we will continue to change and rely heavily upon Christ throughout each and every change.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Leaving soon

Woohoo!!!!!!  We got the news today that in one week we will be on our way to China to adopt our children.  I can't begin to describe the emotions that are going through my mind right now (while I'm supposed to be taking care of sick people).  We will meet and adopt Elisabeth Ming Yu on December 20th and Davidson He Yi on December 24!!!  How about that for the best Christmas ever!!!  More details to come as I allow my brain to wrap around all of the details.  Fortunately Lauren has been packing for 2 weeks now and has everyone just about ready.  Now we only have 5000 things to do instead of 10000!How blessed I am to have a wife who plans ahead. As I have said before, God has blessed us with so much more than we deserve.  I just pray that he will continue to lead us as we raise our growing family.

One more step

Many people have asked, Do you have a blog? No we don't...until now.  Lauren and I finally sat down and started a blog.  Why now?  Because we only need our CA and we will travel.  Hopefully this will be the best way to share all of our adventures as we travel to China to add two precious children to our family.  I hope to know later today if we will travel December 18, December 22, or January 1.  It overwhelms me to think that one week from today I could be on an airplane heading to China for Christmas. Through the adoption journey I felt like this day would never come.  Because the price of airfare has increased so much Lauren and I will travel alone, leaving the kids with her parents, Roger and Dottie.  It's a little sad knowing that we won't be with our 4 biological children on Christmas.  They are okay with it though.  They know that they are getting the best Christmas presents ever in a brother and a sister.  Lauren and I really pray that the first set of dates work out.  We know however that God has a plan for our travel dates and that his plan is so much greater than our plans.  He has proven that over and over to me in the past year.  At a time last week when I really needed encouragement God provided me His Word in Ephesians 3:20-21. "Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us - to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generatiions, forever and ever, Amen."  So please pray along with us as we prepare to take an amazing trip.  Pray that everything will fall into place for the dates that God intends for us to travel.  Pray that God will prepare hearts of our two children, Elisabeth Ming Yu and Davidson He Yi.  In our minds we are bringing them to a family, something they have never had, but to them we are taking them from the only thing they have ever known.  I can't imagine what they are thinking right now.  Pray for our family that waits for us in Gadsden, and pray for us that we will stay healthy through the myriad of flights, hotels, car rides, and govenment offices that are in front of us during the next three weeks.